Perfection At Its Finest

The last few months of 2016 have been some of the hardest months of my life. When I say hard, I don’t mean that any of my family is sick or that I’m sick or hurt, but I mean hard as in spiritually hard. I have had to put so much trust and faith in The Lord- more than I ever thought was possible. Emotionally, I have suffered, and I doubted typing this because part of me thinks I am so inconsiderate for complaining about personal things that are definitely not as devastating as some of the things other people are having to go through. But then I thought that by being bold and describing what has happened and how The Lord has used these situations to change my heart, could maybe give someone confidence to describe how The Lord has worked in their own hard situations. Anyway, I hope this touches you in someway and that I am able to encourage you through any future or current hardships.

Let me start by saying that I am a very caring person. I LOVE PEOPLE! I'm so serious. I could sit down with any stranger and talk my head off to them about anything because I just love love love being around people. But when I say I'm a caring person, I really mean it. I never like seeing anyone down or hurt, so when someone is, I go straight to them and try to make them at least feel better. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's not, but in most situations I find it helpful. However, in the context of this situation, I found that I was caring for myself instead of caring for other people. I was telling myself to calm down and to stop crying and that everything was going to be okay instead of me telling someone else those things.

A few weeks ago, I found out some news that kind of rocked my world. It was news that affected the way I saw myself and affected my self confidence level. It had to do with something that I have a huge passion for, so I wasn't sure how to handle the news. At first, I let out every emotion that I had in me and then I just sat on my bed and stared at the wall. I didn't pray, and I didn't even mention The Lord that day. I was confused, furious and extremely upset.

A week went by, and I felt a little better. I had spent the past few days soaking up every bit of Jesus I had. I spent hours just listening to encouraging Christian songs and praying. I was thankful for the stillness in my heart until another event hit me like a storm. Literally, my heart couldn't take it and all I did was cry wet and rainy tears.

I didn't understand why The Lord would throw not only one hard thing at me but TWO? Two hard, difficult, and spiritually wrecking situations?! I didn't understand it. And part of me still doesn't but a lot more of me does. Because of the pain, I am different. I have matured. I have seen the light that The Lord can bring into the dark. I have witnessed the perfectness that comes with waiting. My sweet friends, I know. I know I know. It hurts. It did hurt and it still hurts. The pain that the enemy continues to linger in our hearts is NOT from Jesus. His pain is used for growth and for maturity in Him and His perfect plans. The emotional pain and the feelings of rejection and disapproval, similar things I have felt, those aren't from The Lord. He doesn't want us to feel either one of those emotions. He wants us to learn from suffering and to learn from the difficult trials that he bestows upon us.

Those hardships and trials I have faced one after the other the past two months aren't punishments from The Lord for sins I've committed in the past. They are there to help us, to bring us closer to Him, and to deepen our love and passion for delivering His love to those around us. He uses these trials as examples of His great love. He wants us to tell people of the good that came about because of something we had to suffer. Trust me, I didn't think this at allll when I was told what I was told. I totally shut The Lord out, and that's what we normally do. That's what the enemy wants us to do! But we shouldn't and we can’t.

If you're suffering right now, if you feel like your life is completely caving in, if you're stressing, devastated or hurt, refocus your attention right here. Listen, you will overcome this. Believe, wholeheartedly not halfheartedly, that The Lord has you in His hands. I promise your trial isn't a punishment. You've done nothing wrong and you haven't disappointed Him. He LOVES you, so so much. He wants you closer to Him, and He wants you to love him with your whole being. Do me a favor and stand back. Take a look at your trial from a different perspective. Instead of looking at it as something you wished never ever happened, be thankful for it. This trial you're fighting, it's building you and shaping you into the strongest Christian you will ever be, and I promise you, it's so worth it when you accept your trials and hardships as being perfection at its finest.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:10‬ ‭