see you soon..

As I sit here watching the wind slowly blow the last few leaves off the tiny little tree outside my bedroom window, I only wonder when my season will change. I wonder when my cracked leaves will slowly be blown off the withering tree I feel that I am. I wonder when the weather will finally be cool enough, and I wonder when the weather in me that feels like cold, harsh, winter will soon receive the sun that shines upon Jesus’ face. I can boldly say that the one and only thing keeping the withering tree alive in me is the roots I am grounded in. Without the One, the hand holder and the life giver, I have to say, I would be lifeless. I like to think that this loss will eventually be healed by time and a few tears; however, as I am learning, loss is healed in quite the opposite way. As I continue to learn how to handle the sadness that overwhelms me when I hear a song, see a sign, or have a dream that reminds me of her, I continue to remind myself of the only root that can ground my withering tree. The only root quite plainly being our Jesus. This season of grief is honestly unexplainable unless you have witnessed it. And if you have, you get me. You are the lifeless tree that is begging for a little sunshine and a whole lot of water. I want to encourage you with what Jesus has continually reminded me. He has reminded me time and time again that He cares for me. Even through our crooked thoughts of “Why Jesus?” and our continually broken hearts, He continues to water us anyways. He knows our pain, He understands our sorrow, and He recognizes our hurt. He sees all these things and in turn, He weeps with us too. He hurts with us, too. In a season full of grief, He is the only steady root that can keep us grounded in the truths that give us life. I don’t know when I’ll see the sun or when life will feel less lifeless. I don’t know when you will either. I don’t know when I’ll stop crying myself to sleep at night or when I’ll stop tearing up every time I see a Georgia Bulldog shirt; however, I do know that Jesus loves, cares, and provides even in the midst of my cold, harsh season. Even in the coldest of seasons, He sees the cracks, the broken branches, and even the places where our roots have disconnected from Him, yet He waters us anyways. He continues to fulfill us, the ones so unworthy of fulfillment, because He is Jesus. Seasons change and seasons go, but as we have witnessed, some linger longer than others. In the seasons that linger, Lord be near. In the seasons that bring unbearable pain, grief, and hurt, Lord be near. May we never for a second doubt the goodness that You provide when You are continually with us through it all. We don’t know when our next season will come nor do we know when we’ll see the sunshine, but we do know we have You to give us life. For now, in the midst of the work You are doing, we’ll wait patiently for the leaves to slowly blow off of our lifeless trees and watch in amazement as You replace them with blessings and new life that will change our hearts forever. Sun, we’ll see you soon.